dark passengers.

i know black swan has been making it's rounds on the internet, as it should, but i wanted to weigh in. (although i feel it is a bit odd to do so here, but the identity of this blog is becoming decidedly more personal these days) 

the first time (& only time as i can remember) i saw a live performance of the swan queen was when i was in grade school. the swan queen glittered on stage in the darkness, so far away from where i was sitting. i was mesmerized by her. i mentioned to the girl sitting next to me how nice the ballerina must be since she's so beautiful. the little girl was baffled and told me firmly, as if i were out of mind, that people who are beautiful aren't necessarily nice.  & that i should be careful not to make that mistake again in the future.

even now, with so many years passed & with my strange inability to remember hardly anything, i remembered this. thinking of it, i don't know why i associated beauty with niceness, with goodness, & it still surprises me how this girl knew so well otherwise.

anyway, i associated this movie with that early life lesson. not everyone who appears to have beauty and talent can hold it together. i adore dopplegangers as you know, & of course the inclusion of rodarte was amazing. but nothing compares to the moment at the end where i stood up in the lights to leave as everyone else, and almost stumbled because i felt quite deranged.